Songs and Babies

Is it strange that every song I hear today reminds me of Maddie.. must be a new mom thing? Like the opening lyrics to Shania Twain's "You're Still the One" made me think of my breastfeeding journey with Maddie and how far we've come..

"Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong"

or take Rihanna's top hit right now "Diamonds", the lyrics are obviously talking about the moment a mom first lays eyes on her baby girl haha..

"I knew that we’d become one right away
Oh, right away
At first sight I left the energy of sun rays
I saw the life inside your eyes

So shine bright, tonight you and I
We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky
Eye to eye, so alive
We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky"

:)

Back in the grind..

t has just started hitting me today that I'm back at work.. Last week I only had two days so it passed by fast and with over 1,700 unread emails to go through, I didn't really have time to think about it. But today, it is starting to sink in.

My mother-in-law is going to watch Maddie once a week on Tuesdays and she lives near my work so I get to see Maddie during lunch. I thought this would make it easier..but somehow I had a harder time parting with her midday. I've always been a more "out of sight, out of mind, deal with what's on hand" type of person, but that's what I hate most about this situation. I don't want her out of sight, out of mind!! Luckily, this is a short week with the Thanksgiving holiday. Next week is going to be challenging. I just have to keep taking it one day at a time. Thank goodness for the Women's Lounge at work where I can pump and shed some tears in private if I need to :*)

Happy 4 Months!!

Hi Big Bright BEAUTIFUL World!

I turn 4 months today!! I'm feeling a little blue with a cough and sniffles but still in fairly good spirits. Mama and Dada are taking me to the doctor today for my checkup and shots so we'll see what the doctor says.  Mama's been having a really tough time dealing with leaving me at the nanny's and going back to work and I'm sure not making it easier for her.  But I'm a brave and strong girl so I know I will be just fine.

Love,
baby Maddie

P.S. I learned two days ago how to blow baby raspberries and I've been blowing a storm of baby raspberries to Mama and Dada's delight!

Epic Meltdown

I started this week in tears as my return to work aka D-day is fast approaching on Thursday. With only 2 days of my maternity leave left, I want to spend as much time as possible with Madde. So when my hair appointment ran an hour and a half later than anticipated (I started at 4:30p and didn't finish until 9:30p!!), I started getting really anxious. By the time I got home, I was in full epic meltdown mode. A wave of guilt came over me as I just spent the last 5 hours at a hair salon instead of soaking up every minute with Maddie and then the thought of Thursday fast approaching brought on the waterworks once again..

::sigh:: I know I sound completely crazy and ridiculous, especially to people who haven't had kids.. I would never have though in a million years I would feel this way, but I can't help it right now.  I used to think I would have no problem leaving my kid and going to work, but now I just can't imagine being away from her cute little face!  Any moms out there who feel my pain? I'd love to hear how it was for you.

First (1/2) Day at the Nanny's!!

D-day is coming up soon as in the Dreaded day of returning to work after 4 blissful amazing months at home with Maddie. Just thinking about D-day makes me cry..

But as moms, we must soldier on, so this week we are starting to have Maddie go to the nanny for half days (9am-12pm) so she can get used to the nanny and vice versa. This also gives me a few hours to hit the gym (finally!) before heading back to work.

Maddie did so well when I dropped her off that it made me sad.. at almost 4 months she is showing me she is a big girl now and mommy needs to learn to let go a bit :( but, I am happy she took a liking to the nanny, smiling and making her cute little coos and half giggles.

My motto is.. One day at a time, one week at a time.. breathe, and we'll get through this together baby!

Halloween Fun!

Here are some pictures from Mommy took of our Halloween fun! I had a great time in my strawberry costume at the mall and loved seeing all the bigger boys and girls running around in their costumes :)

Daddy didn't win the $500 first place at his work, but he did take home 2nd place $300 which was still awesome!

Love,
baby Maddie

Our Halloween Family Portrait: 

Daddy's Scary Makeup by Mommy:

Cousin Dylan came to visit in her Minnie Mouse costume:

Grandma, Mommy and Maddie:

Aunt Jenny & Maddie:

Aunt Wendy & Maddie:

Cousin Jodie as Belle & Cousin Mason as Transformer:

My friend Callie and her Mommy, Arty, celebrating Halloween in Seattle: